Life As I See It

Dating: The Art of Patience

June 13, 2015

As a recent, single college graduate living in Boston there are many available and eligible bachelors. Now, I know this thanks to the multitude of dating apps I have on my phone. No shame, for the record. Sounds great right? What could be bad about this situation? Let me throw one more wrench into your optimistic brain. Make that available, eligible and Jewish bachelors. Not as many. Sure JSwipe and JDate are full of possibilities but then comes all the particulars in dating. Do they make you laugh? Do they have an easy going attitude? Are they happy sitting at home watching a movie instead of some grand adventure? Are they looking for the same thing as you? Can they show empathy? Do they know how to put you in a good mood?

Now you know the questions I obsessively ask myself about my nonexistent future husband or boyfriend. Let me share another secret with you: dating is hard. Almost impossibly hard. Do you know why? It is a waiting game. Fun fact: I am terrible at waiting and patience. You can ask any of my friends. Sometimes I am a potential relationship’s own worst enemy. I put all of me into one bowl and put that on the table. Recently, its left me with no results. It is not for lack of trying.

Part of me wonders if the timing is just terrible. Which, in retrospect, it might be. This week is my last week in Boston for the summer and let me tell you, dating pools in Cape Cod are even slimmer. The other thing I always have to ask myself is: what does the other person have to do with the failed attempts at a real relationship? It has been three years since my last real relationship and almost five since a relationship of over two months.

I have been, for lack of a better term, unlucky in love. I don’t know exactly how to fix that. Probably, the only real answer is to hold the one trait I am very terrible at: patience. I keep saying to myself that the right person will come along when it’s the time. I know this is true. I just am tired of waiting. Ironic really how terribly impatient I am when it comes to relationships. In a classroom of 18 elementary aged children I have all the patience in the world. This isn’t to say I won’t stop putting myself out there. I will keep putting some of me into new conversations and new people. I’ll  meet new people. I just want to know one thing: why is patience in dating so hard?

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